Barnhart Agency                  

 

The Top 10 Signs You've Joined A Cheap HMO

10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
  9. Directions to your doctor's office include "take a left when you enter the trailer park".
  8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
  7. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
  6. Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "an apple a day".
  5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
  4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
  3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
  2. With your last HMO, your pills didn't come in different colors with little "M's" on them.
  1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.